Seven

Sometimes I worry. Sometimes I worry that I do not have her patience.

Don't know whether its simply my body telling me to catch up on my rest, but i get so tired...and not just physically. Choose from the following options: A) mentally, B) emotionally, C) spiritually, D) all of the above.

Don't know whether its just seasonal. It is the point when we indulge in our familial bonds and catch up to our realities, all different passages yet forever intertwined. I lay my head but the pillow sinks too much.

Imagine yourself, another body, another life, another soul. Would you take the paths you have chosen thus far? Give and take. Ask and answer. Stay and leave. Live and not. Trust and abandon.

Love. An organic curse that pulls our heart to make choices blind. It pushes and pulls with reasons never clear. Funny how it drives us every day but nobody can help us understand.

Serendipity. Fate. Grand masterplan. Fuck.

Dear Beloved

My goodness how long it has been since the first time we met. I can't truly say it was love at first sight, even though you are indeed a sight to see. I am an emotional person, which I admit i do try hard to hide. I consider myself a perceptive person, and yet many times I fail to learn what is on your mind. You intrigue me my love, sometimes to a point of infuriation that I try to discover what lies beneath.

Thus far in our long romance, I have settled on the fact that I will never fully understand you more than any man can truly realize a woman. This does not mean that I surrender to the unknown, simply that I will continue my pursuit of this knowledge til my dying breath. I promised once and frequented reminders that I will take care of you for as long as you allow and I intend to keep this promise, for now and ever more.

Nothing can truly compare to what I feel for you. No chambers of time, nor steel segments can encompass the depth of emotion I have with you. All the words in the world can be verbose enough or validate my heart's desire. But I give these to you freely as inklings of the joy you bring to me in this life.

I hope you believe that I love you sweetheart with all my heart, body and soul. I thank your parents for bringing you on this date those years ago, onto this lonely Earth. I thank you for choosing this path which has led you to me. And I thank God for allowing me to have you by my side all this time. Never a regret have I considered in this journey of ours. You bring me a certain calmness, the value in my life I can never compensate.

Happy Birthday my darling! My best wishes are for you. Know that I will always be behind you,and more importantly by your side holding your faith, in every endeavour you wish to achieve.

Shallow Dreams and Pent Up Feelings

Family. One day I want to build one...one of my own. But considering the situation I am in...the state of mind I am experiencing at this current point in my life..., my inner self chuckles a sinister laugh at this want of mine.

I hear his words ring clearly in my thoughts..."Why the hell would you want to do that, you stupid bastard?"

And I know he's right. The economy's in the shitter. The world of politics is losing its mind. Media celebrates pastiche way too much for our own good. Technology is advancing so fast that half of us always seem to be trying to catch up. And our education system....don't get me started with the education system...

The world is in so much of a transition that we...as part of the generation that went through these changes first-hand...must ask, "Is there a future for us?" Don't get me wrong. This is a personal web log but i am not trying to sound all that dramatic. We are part of the first generation that is ill-prepared for our adult lives. We take up many jobs that didn't exist 5 to 10 years ago. Many of us are in some kind of debt before we reach 25 years of age. And most of us anticipate going into another in the near future. So what lies beyond for us? Nobody will know.

Whatever happens, we have to prepared, no matter how ironic that sounds. I choose to hold on to my dreams of a fluffy career and cosy family home. Nothing or nobody is going to change that. Instead of griping for your comfort zone, I dare anyone to take in the challenge of change. In the words of Tim Gunn, "Make It Work!"