Dude, where all the malay chicks man?
How the fuck should I know?
Poly on break or sumtin? I thought they said Temasek has all the babes?
It does? Wait, who's they? If dats true, I haven't seen any. I'm going zombie over here bro. 0% stimulation.
Damn man. This place sucks. Like retirement central.
Preaching to the choir.

With friends like these....

"Oh my God! Where's the geek i knew and loved?" M shouted from the corner of my eye, putting me under the warm bright spotlight of the fluorescent lamp in my friend's room.
" Yeah, he went into Tekong....never got out. Sad, really," I answered, tempting any to step up and give me his hairy eyeball and doing the Haha! laugh from the Simpsons. And that was how my first attempt at video conferencing went. And when i say conference, I mean 4 people in a room struggling with an infernal microphone that has faced multiple forms of vulgarity imaginable in a local head in 1 hour. Plus 1 A-class hottie/maneater who screamed louder into her mic when she couldn't hear us, like it helped any. Haha! Freakin hilarious. If u think 3's a crowd...seriously, u don't wanna try it. Our conversation, despite the technical difficulties and the split second delay, as frequently drilled into our cranium by one of our compatriates(thank you very much) ended with a casual Toodles!Ciao! and a virtual hug which I have to say was purely meant for me. You know it, you Bozos! And i quote,"Chicks dig the goatee!" Her words, not mine. Thank you bro for the visual reunion with our beloved sweetheart. And thank you M for your heavenly virtual visitation in this painstaking limbo that is the holidays. Send me a postcard!

i wish i was special
in your eyes and then
see our lives intertwine
as these two hearts mend
Fate has taken
her turn at best
now its just mine
to repair this aching mess
i can only preach those
things you now know
alas it is your time
to reap what you sow
alas, alas....

Furies Entwined by M. Rushdy

Dear void,
Do u sense a shift in the world revolving? So huge and abrupt that we are forced into ignorance, partly for the sake of our own sanity. Sanctuary is by far beyond our naked reach. But how then do we live in a place not worth adapting? Where sulking is a sign of bliss and joy is a delusion only gods of days gone by could have envisioned and fashioned to the blind and hopeful. Schools of sapien logic taught us that for every crime there is both guilt and innocence but no entity prepared us for the fact there is always a victim. Always. Roll the dice and swear your allegiance. Praise such ultimate wisdom in the eyes of creation. The journey is a race which only the aware win. Truly there is no light as pure. That's just the way it is. Rest well dear heart, for there is nothing you can make of this. Let us dance in the stars for a while, for the night dies too young and too high in frequency.

As white as a lie, As sweet as you.

"Me? I'm dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly stupid." - Pirates of the Caribbean

In style of a dancer friend (awarded, mind you!)
21 - and untalented
21 - and born too late
21 - with nothing to show for it
21 - and officially psycho
21 - and sexually deprived
21 - and too decent to function
21 - and makes bad first impressions
21 - and gives off wrong vibes
21 - and in need of a hug
21 - and lovesick
21 - and worries too much
21 - and under-appreciated
21 - and bundled with issues
21 - and in search of a home
21 - alive and kicked

My, my! It's the holidays already...I don't really feel it yet and its already running out. The new year creeps nearer and nearer even before the artificial snow starts 'melting' off the streets. "Yeah..Christmas!" She squeals in pleasure. Yeah...wooopee! Big deal! Its just another fake holiday. To think they should know by now that Jesus was born in a whole other month. But by then, we'll be waking up to a whole other tune....it's called wake up and go to class u lazy piece of crap.
Oh yeah...Merry Christmas to u too!

U want something personal? Sure, I'll give you three. I hate people who lie simply for their own benefit. I hate people who break promises. I hate people who mislay my trust. If u do not know this, then u don't really know me at all. Thanks a lot for waking me up. Talk about leopards...
And people wonder why I'm paranoid. Have a nice fuckin day.

Just when I thought that I was out, they pull me back in. - Michael Corleone

Thank you dear void for letting me be. Thank you S for letting me crash. Thank you G for keeping me strong. Thank you LOML for keeping me sane.

Hello again. It has been a while.
Yes it has.
What have you been up to?
Adapting.
Adapting to what exactly?
Just changes...in my life. My world is shifting into a new era.
Care to explain?
Not really...not much to explain. Change is the only constant right? All we can do really is ride the wave and adapt. And I've just been doing my part.
Wise choice...so u realize the change and accept it as part of progress. That is very adult of you.
I accept change...but doesn't mean I have to like it.
So how are you feeling right now?
Let's see...tired and irritable, I'd say just...peachy!

Are you trying to get me drunk?
No...I'm keeping you drunk.

Love Taught Me To Lie
I hate being in front of the camera cos it never turns out good.
I hate being behind the camera cos i'm never in the picture.
I hate standing in the rain but love the chill it brings.
I hate to leave you alone but love to see you leave.
I hate making promises, the ones i cannot keep.
I hate running away but I do not want to stop.
I hate the sun's light for presentin you to me.
I hate saying these thoughtless words.
I hate it that i have to keep it inside.
I hate it that you don't give a damn.
I hate playing these foolish games.
I hate that I can't love you.
I hate it bcos I do.
I hate this.

The Long Forgotten Art Of Communication
Friendster, Hi5, Multiply, Where are you now?, Who lives near you?, AM(hahaha I wonder...), MySpace, Facebook - databases constructed for today's generation, whose busy lives(pleeez) do not allow a second's breath for casual communication between friends and acquaintances long forgotten in the back stores of our minds. Also an opportunity to meet people across the globe via the plain resource that is the mutual friend. But c'mon this is all bullshit!

These sites are fuckin more than that. Hell Yeah! These online havens are actually voyages of self discovery. Never could you find out on your own accord how officially cute, adorable, hot, cheerful (etc.) you are, how similar you are with your loved ones and how the most significant feature of our generation's complex psyche is the ability to comprehend the language of IM. (Facebook has just briefed me that I am a Mohinder Suresh . Yeah, the powerless dude. What an amazing benefit to my life? My parents are so proud) Never will we rest until all men and women are connected by multiple lines of contact.

OMFG : Pick up the damn phone people. It's not that fuckin hard. Why settle for the virtual world when you can have a real conversation?

How do you know that you're in love with a person?

Well...when such person behaves stubbornly and being a pain in the ass, and your mind keeps thinking "Do you deserve this? Is she worth it?", you just turn it off and come back for more. That's when you know you're suckered. Haha!

Is that how you make of it? Love makes you accept flaws?

Yeah. Love is blind, deaf, mute, lame and perpetually broke. I've done crazy things for love that I hope I'll never do again.

So I'm guessing you don't like being in love since it makes you behave so...irrationally?

Hell yes I do! It's the best feeling in the world! Still better to have loved and lost...

..than never to have loved at all.

Exactly.

THE WORLD'S A STAGE......
How are you feeling now?
Tired. Just so tired.
What are you tired of, may I ask?
Life....in general. Sometimes, I wonder " why do i even bother?", u know?
Anything specific aspect of your life that you want to talk about?
It's all the same shit...just on different days.
What is bothering you rite this moment? Yes, what are you thinking now?
Bother...nothing. I'm feeling great. Just peachy.

Empty:
House
Home
Promises
Hands
Shell
Heart
Soul
and...Wallet

Things that are or will be plaguing me:
EXAMS
dramaturgical loyalties
blackmail
women with baggage
and baggage of my own

Thanks world. You're the best!

Sweet Memories...

Goodbye my friend, I wish you farewell. What will become of you, only time will tell. No more will I be, there by your side. Take it I left, or take it I've died. I've never lied to you, I swear this is true. All I really wanted, was you to be you. Alas it is time, do not shed a tear. I have tried my best, now go, have no fear. The world is bigger, than both of us you see. In the end we're alone, there's you and there's me.

2 Stories for a Night of 1

Creations adjust
Myth withstanding
Night of crime
Regret upon waking.

Begging and pleading
Mislay my trust
Won't I ever deserve
The sleep of the just?

Curse by M.Rushdy

I crawl. Every move I make burns my flesh. No! I have to reach her. I do not look back at my feet, wasn't sure if they were still there. The fever of pain screams and shrieks as I reach out my arms. Every second felt like hours. She doesn't move. Her head had faced the curb. I call out her name. She doesn't move. The ringing in my head hasn't stopped, neither has it reduced its torture. At the back of my mind, I see our parents, crying, blaming me. What have you done? What have I done? I call her. She doesn't move. I reach her fingers and wrapped them in mine. Cold, I wasn't sure if it was hers or my own. Her head had gone crimson, her blond hair black. I called out to her again. But a force pulls me away, away from my love. No, I plead, not yet! Not yet! I'm so sorry! Forgive me!

The Pain Not Mine by M.Rushdy

Hmm...I should come with a sign.

"Warning: High tendency to speak fatalistic things after 2am."

The person who said 'the truth shall set you free' should be shot. Twice for certainty.

Muscles cramp...brain buzz...mouth dry...heart squeals...body warms...head light....eyes flutter...voice low to a whisper, "Be mine..."

Good Day To Reminisce, Resident Cupid.

E says:
i like the feeling before [the rain]
E says:
its when all the heat rises and you feel all the charges in the air.. and the sky's so threatening, yet u dont know when its gonna come down
E says:
the uncertainty of rain

(Ah...just like fallin in love)

Heart Bleeds
Time will tell
Head Spins
Time will tell
Stomach Cringes
Time will tell
Hands Shiver
Time will tell
Body Quakes
Time will tell
They Turn Away
Time will tell
I Take The Step
Time.

I should start a hug campaign ;op

woaw.....its so early to be online...just couldn't get sumtin out of my head. Why do people like to try to read into things....as though they can..bftt! It's not like we need a reason to do every single thing we do every single day. Bloody unikids. (if ur reading this and feeling guilty, its probably not you. If ur in denial, it might be..) Anyways...if ur talking behind my back about me...don't tell me...unless i notice dat u are, or if its of grave importance...like that person was gonna kill me or sumtin. Actually...let him/her kill me. (well, if u are attempting this, take a number and sit in line) It would be an end to a mundane existence anyway. God...i am babbling. Fuck, why am i so pissed? Why am i so vulgar? Why are u even reading this? Sigh.. What happened to plain old ignorance? Doesn't anyone miss bliss anymore? Bliss is bliss. That's all this morning.
Till again great void.

P.S. If ur actually attempting to read into this entry..well..i'll be damned! There's no point...really! Just go listen to the music on the left or the videos below. It's far more fruitful.

Just Breathe
Hmm..wat an odd start for a day. Let's go thru the details. (1) Dressed rather conspicuously. Sigh...talk about keeping a low profile. (2) Combed my hair..to emphasize dat it was a costume, no more. (3) Token chinese dude was on time. Told u it was odd. (4) Morning wasn't warm and train wasn't dat crowded. Don't u love fridays? (5) It rained heavily and so beautifully in the afternoon, for more reasons than u would expect. (6) Which opened to such a peaceful evening. Probably because of the rain. Washes all the sin to greet a new world. Thank you lord. I found my peace.

Dear God, I know I've not been your most loyal follower. I'm doing my best. But should I die before I wake, pls care for the people I've been blessed to meet in this life. Family, friends and loved ones alike. And thank you for giving me this time to breathe.

Poets lie to tell the truth. Politicians do to hide it. -V for Vendetta

I don't like to write personal stuff but to put the record straight. I'm not lovesick.
Lovesick is an infatuation causing someone to be incapable of rational thought.
Whereas, Lovestoned is when you don't know what you should do next. U're addicted.
U noe u shld stop but why aren't u? Yes...unfortunately, I'm the latter. Happy?!

Fuck u. All of u.

PhotoGirl

There once was a girl who never knew what she felt. Because of this she hid deep inside herself, not knowing how she would be judged by the people around her. Keeping mum to any question deemed too personal to comprehend. Always the quiet one, keeper of secrets. Everyone keeps saying how beautiful and unique she was. If she could only know this was true? But how, she asked, can I know? So she takes pictures, everytime she felt different to compare them at the day's end. After a month, she had a box. A year, a closet. And there it was...her journal of feelings. It was the only way she would know the truth about what she felt at the time.

There once came a boy who sat down beside her. And she needed that journal no longer.

Ahh...finally, we've reached a break from school...didn't tink i would last. The little distractions has sufficed so far. Now its time to submit an Official...(tat-tatata!)...Rushdy Logic Movie Review. Ok...its not official, there's only been two but this is my blog...so go figure. I just recently watched 300, the movie. One word...B-E-A-Utiful. I am not understating it. It was gorgeous...amazing...stupendous...and definitely movie art. Every scene was amazing. Actually every scene could have been made into a poster. They really wanted to take the original comic to life for this one: the battle scenes - WoooHoo! Even the love scene had gone arty farty...not the kind you see in American movies...you know...the dumb blonde with big...bits... Anyway, it was great. Even better, there's even a good logical plot in there. Surprise. Thank you Frank Miller. (Rite...like u didn't watch it for the battle? Pls...) You should be ashamed if you haven't seen it. Ok, I watched it long after it came out but who cares...definitely a guy's movie...or a nice birthday present for a guy. The kind of movie where you find yourself sitting down 5 minutes after, saying "Woah!" Makes you feel like shouting war calls at everbody and just slaughtering every little irritant in this world...ARGHHH...THIS IS SPARTA!!!! Oh...yeah...the spartan queen is way....Hot. Damn! I need to exercise.

Ahh...I never thought i'd enjoy workin in an office after taking that red pill. But reality bites rite. Sometimes the truth is overshadowed by the bliss of ignorance. I u knew me, u'd know neither bliss nor ignorance was ever an option for me. Me and powerful knowledge agendas and all that crap. A guy asked me in a matter-of-fact of a tone whether knowing everything will make a difference to my life. It will only end up in more hesitation and problems, he says. Well, from the outside...u'd hav to agree with him. Here I am, working in an office's black hole of mundaneness will, I am sure, eradicate brain cells in a slow and measured process, feeling that I wasted 5 months of my life at THE COMPANY.
However, I have to say...the bliss is very becoming. The lesson from The Matrix (yes, I'm a fan, not of Keanu's acting but of the concept) is the question you would ask yourself, would you take the red pill. Don't answer quickly. Think about it. Yes you would surely say "Of course I'll take the red pill. It's the god-fuckin reality man. I would want to know that I'm being drained by mother-fuckin robots." Sure....it's the truth. But do u really want to know? Is there really a god? Is there heaven and hell? Are there aliens looking into your window while you sleep, while your neighbour is fuckin his wife's best friend?
However...if u actually watch the movie and understand it, u'll see how much its thought through. Why do the so-called freedom fighters still have traitors in their midst? Its not for money. Its for that bliss the machines offer. What they are offering is life. Live your life. Procreate. Die. Live a traditionally normal life. All this for the brain power that u won't even notice gone. All we ask of you is don't open your eyes. Is that so much to ask?
Well, call me a traitor but I've accepted bliss as part of my life...where I can see my parents...my siblings...my family. Sure I will die not knowing what embracing the truth feels like. I know its there. But I don't wish to be extraordinary. At least not for now. Feed me the non-realistic reality tv. Sure there is no such thing as a stable job. But at least I know that for everday I'm workin here, I can eat, I can breathe, I can live.

What is a family? A group of beings tied by blood stuck together by the fates....or is it a bond of responsibility on a rotational basis of generations. As spoken by Jeb Walker, "families rule" and "families suck". The ability to enjoy the company of family has been a forgotten treasure sunken into the crypt of Davey Jones. We revel in the safety of numbers...the feeling of having a house to go home to at the end of the day filled with people who will save you without a hesitation yet regret the pressures and the overbearing stuffiness that comes with.
The happiness is undoubtly and unfortunately found in a friendly compromise of both the aspects. Forget the expectations which we lay upon strangers. This is family...the people we trust with with our flaws...and accepted those flaws. The reason some find it difficult to lie to family...to the mother who gave us life...to the father whom stayed up til u finished your endless schoolwork...to the siblings who argue endlessly but stayed beside you those nights your folks weren't home. Nonetheless, each family is a multi-tiered tower. The strength lies in its foundation. Modernisation however has caused the number of tiers to lessen...making relations more like a balancing act rather than ...u know.
Dear void, take 1 day of your busy lives to have, be it a meal or just a simple cup of tea with your loved ones this weekend. Do not give a situation whereby an alternative date is to be arranged which we will probably postpone again and again. Take an effort. Don't regret only when its gone.

(DOWNLOAD by Dave Mckean)

Bubbles floatin to the surface....popping without restraint. Time passes and I can't stop to think. No time. Never was. Where's your sense of urgency? Why did she have to do that? Don't get distracted. What the fuck are you waiting for? Why now? Why not? Why him? Why her? Hollywood schmollywood. Smile back. Talk. Cut the chit chat. She can wait. He is nothing. Who are you? The time is now.

Hahaha. I finally can bloggg.....not dat i wanted to......but YES! I can blog...!
Shut up!

Fuck. I finally can post sumting. Fuck.