Something about rain that soothes an aching soul, breathing new air into your lungs. I was never a good forecaster of the weather. Hell, i'm one of the last people to realize its even raining, if you know what i mean. So I got caught in the rain today. Hence I gave up on my headphones and decided to embrace the downpour in its full splendor. One thing I had loved when I had stayed there in the East was the long walk to my aunt's place. People probably thought I was nuts smiling to myself while walking in the rain in my wet bright red t-shirt and brown pants that looked as though I had wetted myself from bottom up. Actually, I felt that the rain truly brought life to the otherwise retirement community. All of a sudden, everyone's moving at an increased pace. It had seemed that even the vehicles were driven at a higher speed to take advantage of the puddles on the roads. Moving against the winds injected a dose of adrenaline I guess I had been lacking for a while. Thoroughly exhilarating I assure you.
So if you ever found yourself being held back from your destination by a heavy downpour, why not just go for it? You might actually learn something new about yourself, or otherwise. Anyways, I don't think the torrential rains are going to dissipate anytime soon. And if you're ever looking for company, you know how to find me.
....between an owl, a princess, a crown and lola.

Haven't been particularly inspired lately. Nothing much happening. Just preparing to kill myself for the upcoming exams. Hence nothing much to blog about, which kinda negates this entry in the first place. However if you're bored and have 6 minutes to spare, watch this video. It's written and directed by Jason Reitman, the new prince of Indie-Hollywood. Hilarious. Cheers.

Oh Crap! Forgot the biggest event of recent to blog about. Pap-pa-da-dah! Epiphany NTU English and Drama Society in collaboration with NIE presents Introspection 08. It was a blast! Everything went well. Almost everything, but its all done, I'm not gonna bitch about em and i'm pleased. I'm fuckin freeeee! No, u can't call me fruitcake anymore. It's unjustifiable. I will miss my black heaven but alas...it had to end some time. I will miss doing the things that the heightened point of view allowed, and the crappy conversations on the cans system...whispering nothingness to my fellow compatriates in techdom.
I love the expression the cast had when we put up the posters at curtain call. It was freakin hilarious. Them replying was unexpected and made me feel guilty for laughing at them. I need to stop being such a mr nice guy, u noe wat i mean? Nahh...u won't. I will miss them all, cast, crew, even the usherers whom I met only 2 days before the show. And I forgot to thank one person in my post production credits, Mr Colin our tech adviser, he's my freakin idol. If I could have his job, I would be in utter bliss. The money helps too. ;op

I'd like to welcome MSABMYI to the world. (Damn dats a long name. Exams gonna b a bitch) Born on the...25th of January. (Yeah! another date to remember) So there's another rugrat to watch over in this whacked-out place we call life. Sometimes all you can do is smile. ;op

Life's a bitch when:

• you are handed foreign lecturers for whom you take most of your time concentrating on their speech patterns such that the meaning of the lecture flies overhead
• people who haven't simply grown up to the fact that in order to listen and understand a lecture requires the need to simply shut up
• it takes away the unlimited access to wireless internet which you have grown to love in the previous months
• you find your friends enjoying a career and getting married while you're stressing over subject registration
• Fast food has lost its appeal to you
• Chocolate doesn't either
• you live 90 mins away from school and just to be safe, you leave home 2 hours earlier
• repercussions are too high to sacrifice

Alas, shit happens. C'est la vie. Time to make the most of things. Its gonna be a good year. If I say different, please pinch me.

WEBLog: First 12 hours of 2008

Part 1: (00:00)
- Pop! Pfft! Honk! Happy New Year!
- Shakes-n-Hug marathon
- Gift from a Barry Manilow song (faint)
- Cam-whoring (they were whoring, i was smiling)
- movin-n-groovin
- Touched by an Angel(Local Edition) aka Pissed-off Sky-angel
- "...Wonderin how they let u in..."
- "..need to go to my grandma's."
- two dogs and a bone
- Barry Manilow does an encore (fall back)
- "...cos I speak Japanese.."
- "Dude, it's just orange!"
- sticky fingers
- Touched by an Angel(Local Edition) - repeat telecast
- enter thamby!
- backstab alert
- Bye2 Angel aka Bye2 Mr Janitor?
- "..there's no Party World here..."
- Easiest $7 made by a cab-driver
- "...if (Barry MAnilow Song) wasn't there..."
- Hello, Sgt Leong!
- cheese-n-tarik
- "..2nd, maybe!?"
- Tekong to 9Div(It's definitely bigger)
- 1 brownie point for the lovely old-friend-made-new
- "..she is (ok sign)" aka "Tell me wen u finish the beach photos."
- 2 hours in Baltic Circle
- Ride Home aka Blackcurrant, Aloe Vera and a smile

Part 2: (07:00)
- 5 min attempt(i'm supposed to be tired)
- "..jogging? Boleh ah!.."
- rinse and dry
- new shoes
- "Don't drag your shoes!"
- "..msg, 2am?"
- pant.pant.pant.breatheout.(repeat)
- damn orange shorts
- off to breakfast (gotta b kidding!)
- breakfast II (children's edition)
- "..nak terbang?"
- Story time...(still not home yet)

Note: The day's not over. However the 2nd half was less life threatening. In other words, not worth mentioning. Not all quotes came from me. And I will deny everything. Thanx for gettin me out bro.

Dude, where all the malay chicks man?
How the fuck should I know?
Poly on break or sumtin? I thought they said Temasek has all the babes?
It does? Wait, who's they? If dats true, I haven't seen any. I'm going zombie over here bro. 0% stimulation.
Damn man. This place sucks. Like retirement central.
Preaching to the choir.

With friends like these....

"Oh my God! Where's the geek i knew and loved?" M shouted from the corner of my eye, putting me under the warm bright spotlight of the fluorescent lamp in my friend's room.
" Yeah, he went into Tekong....never got out. Sad, really," I answered, tempting any to step up and give me his hairy eyeball and doing the Haha! laugh from the Simpsons. And that was how my first attempt at video conferencing went. And when i say conference, I mean 4 people in a room struggling with an infernal microphone that has faced multiple forms of vulgarity imaginable in a local head in 1 hour. Plus 1 A-class hottie/maneater who screamed louder into her mic when she couldn't hear us, like it helped any. Haha! Freakin hilarious. If u think 3's a crowd...seriously, u don't wanna try it. Our conversation, despite the technical difficulties and the split second delay, as frequently drilled into our cranium by one of our compatriates(thank you very much) ended with a casual Toodles!Ciao! and a virtual hug which I have to say was purely meant for me. You know it, you Bozos! And i quote,"Chicks dig the goatee!" Her words, not mine. Thank you bro for the visual reunion with our beloved sweetheart. And thank you M for your heavenly virtual visitation in this painstaking limbo that is the holidays. Send me a postcard!

i wish i was special
in your eyes and then
see our lives intertwine
as these two hearts mend
Fate has taken
her turn at best
now its just mine
to repair this aching mess
i can only preach those
things you now know
alas it is your time
to reap what you sow
alas, alas....

Furies Entwined by M. Rushdy

Dear void,
Do u sense a shift in the world revolving? So huge and abrupt that we are forced into ignorance, partly for the sake of our own sanity. Sanctuary is by far beyond our naked reach. But how then do we live in a place not worth adapting? Where sulking is a sign of bliss and joy is a delusion only gods of days gone by could have envisioned and fashioned to the blind and hopeful. Schools of sapien logic taught us that for every crime there is both guilt and innocence but no entity prepared us for the fact there is always a victim. Always. Roll the dice and swear your allegiance. Praise such ultimate wisdom in the eyes of creation. The journey is a race which only the aware win. Truly there is no light as pure. That's just the way it is. Rest well dear heart, for there is nothing you can make of this. Let us dance in the stars for a while, for the night dies too young and too high in frequency.

As white as a lie, As sweet as you.

Just when I thought that I was out, they pull me back in. - Michael Corleone

Thank you dear void for letting me be. Thank you S for letting me crash. Thank you G for keeping me strong. Thank you LOML for keeping me sane.

How do you know that you're in love with a person?

Well...when such person behaves stubbornly and being a pain in the ass, and your mind keeps thinking "Do you deserve this? Is she worth it?", you just turn it off and come back for more. That's when you know you're suckered. Haha!

Is that how you make of it? Love makes you accept flaws?

Yeah. Love is blind, deaf, mute, lame and perpetually broke. I've done crazy things for love that I hope I'll never do again.

So I'm guessing you don't like being in love since it makes you behave so...irrationally?

Hell yes I do! It's the best feeling in the world! Still better to have loved and lost...

..than never to have loved at all.

Exactly.

Muscles cramp...brain buzz...mouth dry...heart squeals...body warms...head light....eyes flutter...voice low to a whisper, "Be mine..."

Good Day To Reminisce, Resident Cupid.

Heart Bleeds
Time will tell
Head Spins
Time will tell
Stomach Cringes
Time will tell
Hands Shiver
Time will tell
Body Quakes
Time will tell
They Turn Away
Time will tell
I Take The Step
Time.

I should start a hug campaign ;op

Just Breathe
Hmm..wat an odd start for a day. Let's go thru the details. (1) Dressed rather conspicuously. Sigh...talk about keeping a low profile. (2) Combed my hair..to emphasize dat it was a costume, no more. (3) Token chinese dude was on time. Told u it was odd. (4) Morning wasn't warm and train wasn't dat crowded. Don't u love fridays? (5) It rained heavily and so beautifully in the afternoon, for more reasons than u would expect. (6) Which opened to such a peaceful evening. Probably because of the rain. Washes all the sin to greet a new world. Thank you lord. I found my peace.

Dear God, I know I've not been your most loyal follower. I'm doing my best. But should I die before I wake, pls care for the people I've been blessed to meet in this life. Family, friends and loved ones alike. And thank you for giving me this time to breathe.

Ahh...I never thought i'd enjoy workin in an office after taking that red pill. But reality bites rite. Sometimes the truth is overshadowed by the bliss of ignorance. I u knew me, u'd know neither bliss nor ignorance was ever an option for me. Me and powerful knowledge agendas and all that crap. A guy asked me in a matter-of-fact of a tone whether knowing everything will make a difference to my life. It will only end up in more hesitation and problems, he says. Well, from the outside...u'd hav to agree with him. Here I am, working in an office's black hole of mundaneness will, I am sure, eradicate brain cells in a slow and measured process, feeling that I wasted 5 months of my life at THE COMPANY.
However, I have to say...the bliss is very becoming. The lesson from The Matrix (yes, I'm a fan, not of Keanu's acting but of the concept) is the question you would ask yourself, would you take the red pill. Don't answer quickly. Think about it. Yes you would surely say "Of course I'll take the red pill. It's the god-fuckin reality man. I would want to know that I'm being drained by mother-fuckin robots." Sure....it's the truth. But do u really want to know? Is there really a god? Is there heaven and hell? Are there aliens looking into your window while you sleep, while your neighbour is fuckin his wife's best friend?
However...if u actually watch the movie and understand it, u'll see how much its thought through. Why do the so-called freedom fighters still have traitors in their midst? Its not for money. Its for that bliss the machines offer. What they are offering is life. Live your life. Procreate. Die. Live a traditionally normal life. All this for the brain power that u won't even notice gone. All we ask of you is don't open your eyes. Is that so much to ask?
Well, call me a traitor but I've accepted bliss as part of my life...where I can see my parents...my siblings...my family. Sure I will die not knowing what embracing the truth feels like. I know its there. But I don't wish to be extraordinary. At least not for now. Feed me the non-realistic reality tv. Sure there is no such thing as a stable job. But at least I know that for everday I'm workin here, I can eat, I can breathe, I can live.

What is a family? A group of beings tied by blood stuck together by the fates....or is it a bond of responsibility on a rotational basis of generations. As spoken by Jeb Walker, "families rule" and "families suck". The ability to enjoy the company of family has been a forgotten treasure sunken into the crypt of Davey Jones. We revel in the safety of numbers...the feeling of having a house to go home to at the end of the day filled with people who will save you without a hesitation yet regret the pressures and the overbearing stuffiness that comes with.
The happiness is undoubtly and unfortunately found in a friendly compromise of both the aspects. Forget the expectations which we lay upon strangers. This is family...the people we trust with with our flaws...and accepted those flaws. The reason some find it difficult to lie to family...to the mother who gave us life...to the father whom stayed up til u finished your endless schoolwork...to the siblings who argue endlessly but stayed beside you those nights your folks weren't home. Nonetheless, each family is a multi-tiered tower. The strength lies in its foundation. Modernisation however has caused the number of tiers to lessen...making relations more like a balancing act rather than ...u know.
Dear void, take 1 day of your busy lives to have, be it a meal or just a simple cup of tea with your loved ones this weekend. Do not give a situation whereby an alternative date is to be arranged which we will probably postpone again and again. Take an effort. Don't regret only when its gone.

(DOWNLOAD by Dave Mckean)

Bubbles floatin to the surface....popping without restraint. Time passes and I can't stop to think. No time. Never was. Where's your sense of urgency? Why did she have to do that? Don't get distracted. What the fuck are you waiting for? Why now? Why not? Why him? Why her? Hollywood schmollywood. Smile back. Talk. Cut the chit chat. She can wait. He is nothing. Who are you? The time is now.

Hahaha. I finally can bloggg.....not dat i wanted to......but YES! I can blog...!
Shut up!

Fuck. I finally can post sumting. Fuck.